Ever since reading Roland Barthes in college, I have wanted to be a logothete. That's someone who invents his own supercool idiosyncratic language (like the Marquis de Sade or the utopian socialist Charles Fourier). But I have to resign myself to being a neologista. That's a word I just made up that means: someone who makes up somewhat witty, yet inconsequential, neologisms. So, here we go:
antigargoyle: in the context of parties or in nightclubs, someone who's all about counteracting or neutralizing the scowling and posturing of the self-hating, attitude radiators (aka "gargoyles") who have absolutely nothing to add to the ambience and suck out all joy and liveliness within a 25-mile radius.
coñoscenti: mashup of "coño" (Castilian for "c|u|n|t" and used liberally in Spain as a pejorative, insult or expletive) plus "cognoscenti" (persons "having or claiming expert knowledge in one or more realms of the fine arts or of fashion" [Websters]). Can be used to flatter people who fancy themselves hip know-it-alls while actually calling them annoying c|u|n|t|s to their face. (singular coñoscente)
Faceborg: refers to the uneasy feeling of being assimilated into an android hive while browsing Facebook.
harem-go-round: a circle of semi-anonymous sex partners who disappear just long enough to seem fresh again before reappearing.
lonelihorny: two intermingled and confounded drives, one emotional and one sexual, source of many bad choices.
preposterific: magnificently preposterous. (Came to mind when thinking about the South Park episode, "Helen Keller, The Musical!")
lipsyncopation: portmanteau of "lipsync" and "syncopation." (Came to mind while watching Betty Butterfield lipsynching to "O Canada." This is a really cool word - I'm surprised it didn't show up in a google search.)
St. Bernard of the Dance Floor: at a rave or circuit party, a member of a group who is somewhat less cool or attractive than the others and feels so grateful for being included that he/she automatically becomes the person who goes to get bottled water for everybody. (St. Bernard dogs were originally bred for rescue by Swiss monks, and in popular mythology have been depicted with small casks of brandy under their necks to warm victims of hypothermia.)
St. Bernard of the Orgy: Florence-Henderson-like individual who runs around making sure everyone has fresh beverages, condoms, lubes, toys, paraphernalia, etc.
swaggot: a young, hippity-hoppity, trendy gay boy who fluffily attends publicity-driven parties and rejoices on snagging the obligatory swag bags.
What-the-Hell-butrin: an antidepressant that sometimes makes one a bit too nonchalant.
How can you tell if you've created a neologism? Google it! And high-five if you come up with the message:
Your search - antigargoyle - did not match any documents.
Next step: register the domain name. Someday you'll thank yourself.
(You still get points if the word you invented already exists in cyberspace, but your usage is superior and has completely different connotations: e.g., in the case of "swaggot." But unfortunately "neologista" fails this test. I should have known - what with the Greek derivation and academic taste of it.)
Thanks for the post.
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Posted by: Daisy | January 15, 2010 at 04:38 AM